i have to go ououououuuuttttt tonight.

fuck.

thank god i'm at work or i would be crying.

Fuck you, facebook.

****** ****** is in a relationship with **** ***********.

NOT what I needed to see right now.

i'd give you everything i've got for a little peace of mind

god, how true that phrase is right now.

I'm so tired, I'm feeling so upset
Although I'm so tired, I'll have another cigarette
And curse Sir Walter Raleigh
He was such a stupid get.

had to look up Sir Walter Raleigh, but yeah
tired, upset (though less than before) and i am definitely looking forward to coffee and cigarettes after Glee tonight.

now all of this looking up Walter Raleigh makes me want to read the Faerie Queene because apparently his friend wrote it. Sounds interesting.

yeah, bored at work.

....

time to go.

unrequited love is not allowed.

so, half of my music is against the rules atm.

doesn't matter, i'll just keep listening and not let Lauren know.

Rainy Monday was stuck in my head all day monday.
not because it was raining (though a pretty neat coincidence), but because of the lyrics.

he's pretty messed up over it all, but shit, so am i.

lets just stay back and act like myself and see what happens. who knows. maybe things will get better.

and now

i'm questioning myself.

if i'm so down and low right now that I can't even study
can't do any of my work

don't want to do anything but sleep....

maybe there is something wrong with me.

motivation?

i have none.

as of right now, i want to leave and never come back.

no degree, no grad school, whatever.

right now, i don't care.

which is terrible, seeing as i have a midterm tomorrow....

more than ever..

feeling manic

and uncontrolled

and hurt

and lonely

and completely unsure of what the future holds for me.

why can't I just take care of what I have to take care of and get through this?