sage

you weren't kidding, hun.

you made me think more about the situation than i thought possible at this point in time.

thank you for making me take a deeper look at myself.

I <3 Orisa Santiago Morrice.

mrrrrawwww

I want to dye my hair, it faded.
I have to be in the bob cat lair in an hour.
I'm hungry but I don't want to eat.

Deadmau5?

Actually something I could listen to.
Techno isn't all that bad, I guess....

you gotta spend some time, love

you gotta spend some time with me
and I know that you'll find, love
I will possess your heart

gotta love Death Cab :)

bored, at work. thank goodness Jason texted me this morning, I would have slept through my shift if he didn't. I turned off my alarm and definitely kept sleeping. LOL

and he came by and visited me at the services desk but I look like HELL right now!

:/

lamesauce.

I'm excited for the 6th. I think it'll be a lot of fun :)
never been to yosemite, and I haven't seen the snow since I was like 11.

this will be a good trip!

by the way....

Austin who?

He hasn't texted me once since he's been home.

Why should I waste my time holding my breath when so many other great things are falling onto my plate?

I love him, always will, he means so much to me. But why hasn't he tried getting ahold of me yet?

Whatever, things are gonna happen as they will. Time to take it all into stride.

:)

I love that the only thing I could think of as a title for this was a smiley face.

Sure, some things suck.

Sure, I'm super busy.

Sure, people are dumb.

But ever since I realized I deserved to be happy, and that I was capable of dealing with everything instead of just crying about it, I am SO MUCH BETTER OFF.

So, I'm happy :)

Who knows how long I'll be here, and who knows what's waiting for me on the other side, but for now, none of that really matters!

seeing that light...

"Here's to hearing that pop and seeing the light when I finally pull my head outta my ass."

This phrase makes so much more sense to me now that I could have ever thought it would.
I have not been fair to myself.
I have not treated myself well at all.
I have done things and said things to myself that were wrong and hurtful.

I deserve more respect for myself.
I deserve more faith in myself.
I deserve more time spent making myself happy.
I deserve to know that I am a strong, capable, lovable person.
I deserve to put all that I can into my school and be rewarded for it.
I deserve to put all that I can into my sorority and sisterhood and reap the benefits of it.
I deserve so much better than I give myself credit for.

I can't even explain how depressed I have been over the last few weeks. I didn't want to come back to Merced, I felt as if I didn't belong. As if I was doing nothing with my time.
I am starting to realize that this is exactly where I need to be. I am here, and though I have messed up a fair bit in the last year and a half, its not too late for me to succeed and make something of myself.

I want to thank my sisters, without them I would have never had the courage to take a look at myself and realize that I am worth something.