It's been....

One week since you looked at me,
Cocked your head to the side, and said "You're Crazy"
Five days since you laughed at me
Sayin' "Get that together, come back and see me".
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you.
Yesterday, you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days 'til I say I'm sorry".


Random lyrics, but it's been quite some time since I have updated this.
Feeling like shit, so now must be a good time to vent.

I talked to James, told him I don't think long distance is a good idea. He told me he needed time to think, and would get back to me. This was two weeks ago. I'm starting to think he won't call.

Jason and I are....weird. I still have really strong feelings for him, told him if he were in a more stable place in his life that we would probably already be back together, and now ex sex is complicating my feelings. I really do like him, and can very easily see myself falling back in love with him (like in less than a blink of an eye), but as of right now, it isn't a sure bet, and it scares me.
On top of that, why on earth are things working out the way they are? I was trying to look out for myself and made a really, really dumb decision. I mean, I know it wasn't dumb at the time, but now I feel like it was. I hurt him, and I hurt him pretty badly. Why on earth does this look like it's going to work out? The universe doesn't give second chances like this. I was telling Jason that I was feeling this way, and I kind of just broke down and cried. And cried. And cried. Then passed out with him curled up next to me on my bed.

I am foreseeing some major roommate drama tonight. We're having a sit down meeting and going over some house rules. I get the feeling that my ideas of what needs to be done are completely opposite of everyone else, and this is just going to get messy.

I ditched class today to hang out with Pete all afternoon. I met his new roommate, he's extremely nice, and has the same sense of humor as all of my guys. I can see us getting along really well.
Pete and I talked a lot this afternoon. Well, Pete did most of the talking, but that was okay. It was what I needed. I needed distraction by good friends, and I got just that.
Thank you boys.

I have felt like shit all day, really. Whenever I'm not busy with other people, I just sink. I guess it's because I don't like being bummed out around other people. I don't want them to know I'm upset because I feel it will upset them as well.
I want to crawl into bed and watch Eternal Sunshine and cry and sleep and wake up feeling better. But even if I did those things, I get the feeling I will wake up with the same weight.

Oh well. At work, time to be chipper and happy for the patrons and co-workers.