another good one

"Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two."
-Louis de Bernieres

What a strange time for Jason to be IM'ing me.

I have the strongest desire to make out with someone.

No one in particular, though Taj would be nice.

Requirement: someone who is a good kisser.

This is why I love Stephen King.

I know I've posted it before (at least other places), but I don't care.

"The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear." -Stephen King

love

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss your or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
-Neil Gaiman

I should be studying...

I have two midterms this week. One Thursday, one Friday. I am six chapters behind in both of the classes I have tests in (and 6 in another). I have two research papers I have to complete this year, as well as a huge group project. I have four portfolios to turn in for writing.

And right now I just want to cry and crawl into bed.

I know I'm hormonal right now. I know that's why I'm feeling the way I do. But at the same time, knowing that doesn't make it any better.

I feel like giving up. Teach for America is seeming more and more possible, and I have so many great opportunities presenting themselves to me...but at the same time, it seems like all of these in addition to school is just too much for me.

I want to go home. To run away from everything for a while. I need a cuddle buddy, badly. Someone to come home to, just curl up next to on the couch or in bed, and we wouldn't need to talk. Just laying there with my head on their chest, and I would feel better. I haven't had that in a very long time and I miss it.

I was sitting here thinking about who I could talk to about how I feel, and literally couldn't think of a single person.
I mean obviously I've got extremely close friends, but sometimes I feel like we've all got our own shit to deal with, so we don't press ours off on to each other. Plus most of my problems are the same mopey ones I always have, and I don't want my friends to get tired of listening to me bitch about the same old things all the time.

Definitely another night where thinking about being bad is very very very tempting.

Maybe I just need to sleep it off. Here's hoping tomorrow will be a better day.