what's with this?

it's been about a month again. lame, i need better blogging habits.

things have been all kinds of crazy. i've been pretty off the last few days. manic episodes that seem endless, scattered thoughts, it just feels like i'm falling apart at the seams.
i'm starting to wonder if i need to go in and talk to someone. i'm also wondering if it's the fact that i recently started taking birth control again, and i'm just not used to the hormones yet.
but when your head jumps from ecstatic, to depressed, to wanting chili, to really missing your boyfriend (whom you saw earlier that day), to wanting to crawl in bed and not come back out, to wanting to make cookies (and realizing you only really want the dough, and only because you think the vanilla would smell good)
IN A SPAN OF LESS THAN TWO MINUTES
something isn't right.

i'm glad things are going well with jason, i don't think i could take that added on to the pile.

i am, however, adding in ways to get me involved more at school. since i rarely go out anymore i feel like i've lost almost all human connection, so i think that would be a good way for me to get some back.

james still thinks we're dating. and it's dumb, and i'm dealing with it. but honestly, i'm tired of hearing other people's opinions about the situation. i don't need the harsh words right now.

i think things are finally calming down at home.

i haven't talked to my daddy in two weeks. i think it's for the best, but i feel crappy about it.

and suddenly i have nothing left to say.