just got an email from the school.
yay for academic probation!
i am sick to my stomach right now. and Jason is trying to help, and only making it worse.
i need to go do something. i don't know what, but I can't sit here and just think, its starting to drive me nuts.
and Megan, I love you, but if you're reading this, do it as a friend and not an Officer. I can't deal with that right now. I'm more than sure it will be taken care of next semester.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
so.
I have been home for a whole three days.
THREE DAYS.
And mom is already getting on my case for not having a fucking job.
I just dropped off an application today, and guess that I did it wrong.
She said she doesn't make me pay rent because I came home to save my money and work, but since I'm not working I need to be busting my ass at cleaning the house.
Now if the house was trashed, I could see where this is coming from. But seeing as I just cleaned, and everything is in it's place, she's off her fucking rocker.
I just want to leave.
FUCK
THREE DAYS.
And mom is already getting on my case for not having a fucking job.
I just dropped off an application today, and guess that I did it wrong.
She said she doesn't make me pay rent because I came home to save my money and work, but since I'm not working I need to be busting my ass at cleaning the house.
Now if the house was trashed, I could see where this is coming from. But seeing as I just cleaned, and everything is in it's place, she's off her fucking rocker.
I just want to leave.
FUCK
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
rawr.
Shit has been going down.
Told Jason the things Claudia has said to me, it seems like her world is starting to fall apart. Jason and Brad are both mad at her for their own respective reasons. I feel bad, I didn't mean to mess up their friendships...but I didn't know what else to do. The things she was saying were really starting to hurt my feelings, and he wanted to know what exactly she said. I didn't even tell him everything, since it was literally beating a dead horse at that point.
Got home, dealing with friend drama. This is okay so far, but lets see how things go once alcohol is involved.
I miss Jason like bonkers, but I'll be okay.
I told mom about changing my major. She is NOT happy.
She also thinks that Jason is nothing special.
Along with this, I want Jason to come and visit when my grandma gets here, because that's the weekend after our 3 month anniversary. But mom said if I'm going to act like that already, then I can go act like that somewhere else.
Wtf is that supposed to mean?
Guess what, I don't care what she thinks. And this is starting to sound like a horrible movie cliche, but I love him. So it really doesn't matter what she thinks.
I just wish she would like him for his sake.
Lets see where this summer leaves me. It'll be a bumpy ride.
Told Jason the things Claudia has said to me, it seems like her world is starting to fall apart. Jason and Brad are both mad at her for their own respective reasons. I feel bad, I didn't mean to mess up their friendships...but I didn't know what else to do. The things she was saying were really starting to hurt my feelings, and he wanted to know what exactly she said. I didn't even tell him everything, since it was literally beating a dead horse at that point.
Got home, dealing with friend drama. This is okay so far, but lets see how things go once alcohol is involved.
I miss Jason like bonkers, but I'll be okay.
I told mom about changing my major. She is NOT happy.
She also thinks that Jason is nothing special.
Along with this, I want Jason to come and visit when my grandma gets here, because that's the weekend after our 3 month anniversary. But mom said if I'm going to act like that already, then I can go act like that somewhere else.
Wtf is that supposed to mean?
Guess what, I don't care what she thinks. And this is starting to sound like a horrible movie cliche, but I love him. So it really doesn't matter what she thinks.
I just wish she would like him for his sake.
Lets see where this summer leaves me. It'll be a bumpy ride.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Green eyed monster?
Jason: where were u?
me: when?
Jason: after work?
me: ummm i just got to work?
Jason: my work
i txted you to give you ur money and never heard anything...
me: i didn't get one :/
Jason: did you go to lunch with whatever?
me: whoever?31123001515918
eek
Jason: idk lol
me: yeah, i went to lunch with josh
Jason: off campus?
me: and steve asked if we wanted to play video games since we all had to be at work at 6
yeah
h&w
Jason: who is this josh?
me: a friend that i work with
?
Jason: oh okay
he make any moves?
me: are you serious?
Jason: lol
i meant that jokingly
me: didn't sound that way
Jason: forgot it doesnt translate to aim
me: jealousy translates well :P
Jason: i wasnt jealous.....
i trust you, no need to be jealous
I PASSED OPERATING SYSTEMS F*CK YA
me: i know :)
subject change fail though
Jason: im starting at it amazed
just wanted to share
me: you already told me that one :P
and that sri didn't
and is probably super pissed
Jason: ya brad did also
YAY
me: yay!
but fail still
Jason: sorry
me: mrrr
Jason: mrrrr to you to
And that was the end of that line of convo
I gave up on him changing the subject.
Many things i can deal with, but a jealous boyfriend is NOT one. I have more guy friends than girl friends. He's going to have to get used to that, and he's going to have to do it fast, or I'm just going to get pissed off and resentful. And maybe a little vindictive and belligerent. Because that's generally what happens when I get irritated.
And I don't think I'm over reacting, this is the third time in less than a week that something like this has happened.
me: when?
Jason: after work?
me: ummm i just got to work?
Jason: my work
i txted you to give you ur money and never heard anything...
me: i didn't get one :/
Jason: did you go to lunch with whatever?
me: whoever?31123001515918
eek
Jason: idk lol
me: yeah, i went to lunch with josh
Jason: off campus?
me: and steve asked if we wanted to play video games since we all had to be at work at 6
yeah
h&w
Jason: who is this josh?
me: a friend that i work with
?
Jason: oh okay
he make any moves?
me: are you serious?
Jason: lol
i meant that jokingly
me: didn't sound that way
Jason: forgot it doesnt translate to aim
me: jealousy translates well :P
Jason: i wasnt jealous.....
i trust you, no need to be jealous
I PASSED OPERATING SYSTEMS F*CK YA
me: i know :)
subject change fail though
Jason: im starting at it amazed
just wanted to share
me: you already told me that one :P
and that sri didn't
and is probably super pissed
Jason: ya brad did also
YAY
me: yay!
but fail still
Jason: sorry
me: mrrr
Jason: mrrrr to you to
And that was the end of that line of convo
I gave up on him changing the subject.
Many things i can deal with, but a jealous boyfriend is NOT one. I have more guy friends than girl friends. He's going to have to get used to that, and he's going to have to do it fast, or I'm just going to get pissed off and resentful. And maybe a little vindictive and belligerent. Because that's generally what happens when I get irritated.
And I don't think I'm over reacting, this is the third time in less than a week that something like this has happened.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
houston, we have a problem...
so, talking to Jason this morning, he said he was really upset with himself after we woke up the other morning and saw the mass amount of hickeys/teeth marks on my chest/shoulder area.
when I asked him why, he said because he wasn't raised that way. after asking for clarification, it was clear that he meant he was raised to not hurt/harm women.
does that count? it's pretty common knowledge amongst the people that read this that I am not a vanilla kind of person (sorry if this is over-sharing, Pete), that a little bit of pain is actually really a turn on.
but, the way he said it, he sounded legitimately upset with himself.
what to do? if it bugs him I don't want to make him uncomfortable, but at the same time, it's what I'm into...
???
when I asked him why, he said because he wasn't raised that way. after asking for clarification, it was clear that he meant he was raised to not hurt/harm women.
does that count? it's pretty common knowledge amongst the people that read this that I am not a vanilla kind of person (sorry if this is over-sharing, Pete), that a little bit of pain is actually really a turn on.
but, the way he said it, he sounded legitimately upset with himself.
what to do? if it bugs him I don't want to make him uncomfortable, but at the same time, it's what I'm into...
???
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
where did the time go?
a week left.
a fucking week.
good and bad all at once.
i get to get out of town, go home where things are familiar and comfortable and where i never feel like i don't belong, to my friends who know me better than i know myself, and to my family.
but to the people that are leaving....i don't know what i will do without you guys. i have gotten pretty close to some seniors, but two more specifically than anyone else:
brad, you're such a fantastic person...i wish all of this shit didn't happen your last semester of your senior year, but i know you'll be alright. you are a sweetie, and any girl would be lucky to be with a guy like you.
jason....i don't even know what to say. you're silly and you're funny and you make me laugh and smile. you make things better when the world starts to suck, and you mean more to me than you could understand. i don't know what i'm going to do with myself when you leave.
thank god for friends who know you when you're sad and can handle you until you're feeling better. i'm going to need them.
a fucking week.
good and bad all at once.
i get to get out of town, go home where things are familiar and comfortable and where i never feel like i don't belong, to my friends who know me better than i know myself, and to my family.
but to the people that are leaving....i don't know what i will do without you guys. i have gotten pretty close to some seniors, but two more specifically than anyone else:
brad, you're such a fantastic person...i wish all of this shit didn't happen your last semester of your senior year, but i know you'll be alright. you are a sweetie, and any girl would be lucky to be with a guy like you.
jason....i don't even know what to say. you're silly and you're funny and you make me laugh and smile. you make things better when the world starts to suck, and you mean more to me than you could understand. i don't know what i'm going to do with myself when you leave.
thank god for friends who know you when you're sad and can handle you until you're feeling better. i'm going to need them.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
WOW, Jason....
me: i'm hungry >.<
Jason: i think we might get some food in the dc b4 class
what would you like?
me: i've got a dinner date with my roomie after work
but thanks anyway :)
Jason: oh fine then shit
went from bring me dinner to dinner date with a roomie lol
me: i was kidding earlier :P
Jason: lol i wasnt =P
me: haha
Jason: but i c i've been replaced :P
me: oh goodness.
she needs to spend her catcard money :P
Jason: lol
sure sure sure
me: and office hours start at 830
Jason: whatev lets you sleep at night
me: you sir are belligerent.
i'm going to need you to calm down.
Jason: lol
i am a sig on the third floor
gotta live up to the legend
me: so you're belligerent squared atm
that's way too intense forme
*for me
Jason: lol
if you cant take the heat get out of the kitchen :P
me: i don't have a kitchen :(
Jason: you have mine, only used once
lol
me: that's maddie's kitchen
i can't encroach on her turf like that
Jason: she said you could
and fuck that
if it's for me i will drive maddie away
me: either way, i am not in a kitchen, so it would be impossible and illogical for me to get out of one.
Jason: hey now it's an expression
me: yes, but being contrary is ever so much fun!
Jason: lol ur beligerent
ma'am
you need to calm down
me: i beg to differ
i am not on the third floor
Jason: beg ignored
me: nor am i a member of sigma chi
see, that was belligerency
meanieface.
Jason: lol
but you are dating one
so you are majorly beligerent just like tori and brown
me: i disagree.
Jason: tori is def beligerent and so are you, hmm we must be rubbing off on you guys
me: i am not!
Jason: i beg to differ? i offer you dinner that you demanded and i get rejected, textbook belligerency
me: :O
how rude!
Jason: i know right?
me: I meant on your part!
you are twisting my words and the situation to your benefit.
Jason: am not!!
me: THAT is a perfect example of YOUR belligerency/
not mine.
Jason: now i am def pulling your leg
not twisting anything around
me: i know you're kiddiing
:P
way to break character and ruin all the fun, meanieface
Jason: am i?
are you sure?
me: you're either kidding or a liar...
hmmm....
Jason: or did you just scar me emotionally by rejecting me so hard
hmmm ur call
me: know anyone that needs an extra grad ticket?
Jason: maybe why? did you get urs?
me: i get mine this week
Jason: yay!!!
me: i get to help with parking and transportation!
yay!
lol
Jason: what??? ur working???
WHAT
me: only for the first part
calm yourself, sir
Jason: MRRRRR
me: just have your mom save me a seat :)
Jason: convo over!!!!
me: i get to watch the actual commencement ceremony
i just have to work that morning.
i know corine needed one, but if a brother does i'd rather give it to a sig first...
Jason: Jason is not here right now, please leave a message after the beep........ beep
me: ^^^
wait
shit
don't remember if i asked for the extra ticket or not
Jason: beep end of message
me: i just replied asking if i can still get one.
Jason: Would you like to re-record the message or send it?
me: delete
Jason: Jason is not here right now, please leave a message after the beep........ beep
Jason: beep end of message
Please hang up and try again
click
Jason: Ring ring ring ring banana phone banana phone!!!!!!!
Jason: i think we might get some food in the dc b4 class
what would you like?
me: i've got a dinner date with my roomie after work
but thanks anyway :)
Jason: oh fine then shit
went from bring me dinner to dinner date with a roomie lol
me: i was kidding earlier :P
Jason: lol i wasnt =P
me: haha
Jason: but i c i've been replaced :P
me: oh goodness.
she needs to spend her catcard money :P
Jason: lol
sure sure sure
me: and office hours start at 830
Jason: whatev lets you sleep at night
me: you sir are belligerent.
i'm going to need you to calm down.
Jason: lol
i am a sig on the third floor
gotta live up to the legend
me: so you're belligerent squared atm
that's way too intense forme
*for me
Jason: lol
if you cant take the heat get out of the kitchen :P
me: i don't have a kitchen :(
Jason: you have mine, only used once
lol
me: that's maddie's kitchen
i can't encroach on her turf like that
Jason: she said you could
and fuck that
if it's for me i will drive maddie away
me: either way, i am not in a kitchen, so it would be impossible and illogical for me to get out of one.
Jason: hey now it's an expression
me: yes, but being contrary is ever so much fun!
Jason: lol ur beligerent
ma'am
you need to calm down
me: i beg to differ
i am not on the third floor
Jason: beg ignored
me: nor am i a member of sigma chi
see, that was belligerency
meanieface.
Jason: lol
but you are dating one
so you are majorly beligerent just like tori and brown
me: i disagree.
Jason: tori is def beligerent and so are you, hmm we must be rubbing off on you guys
me: i am not!
Jason: i beg to differ? i offer you dinner that you demanded and i get rejected, textbook belligerency
me: :O
how rude!
Jason: i know right?
me: I meant on your part!
you are twisting my words and the situation to your benefit.
Jason: am not!!
me: THAT is a perfect example of YOUR belligerency/
not mine.
Jason: now i am def pulling your leg
not twisting anything around
me: i know you're kiddiing
:P
way to break character and ruin all the fun, meanieface
Jason: am i?
are you sure?
me: you're either kidding or a liar...
hmmm....
Jason: or did you just scar me emotionally by rejecting me so hard
hmmm ur call
me: know anyone that needs an extra grad ticket?
Jason: maybe why? did you get urs?
me: i get mine this week
Jason: yay!!!
me: i get to help with parking and transportation!
yay!
lol
Jason: what??? ur working???
WHAT
me: only for the first part
calm yourself, sir
Jason: MRRRRR
me: just have your mom save me a seat :)
Jason: convo over!!!!
me: i get to watch the actual commencement ceremony
i just have to work that morning.
i know corine needed one, but if a brother does i'd rather give it to a sig first...
Jason: Jason is not here right now, please leave a message after the beep........ beep
me: ^^^
wait
shit
don't remember if i asked for the extra ticket or not
Jason: beep end of message
me: i just replied asking if i can still get one.
Jason: Would you like to re-record the message or send it?
me: delete
Jason: Jason is not here right now, please leave a message after the beep........ beep
Jason: beep end of message
Please hang up and try again
click
Jason: Ring ring ring ring banana phone banana phone!!!!!!!
i am a major fail.
apparently i had a conversation with jason last night while i was asleep.
we were talking about families, and how i have a big ass hick one, and something something something, then i said something else, and i remember waking up to him saying "because all of my great-grandpa's family died in the concentration camps"
WTF
fucking fail, courtney.
we were talking about families, and how i have a big ass hick one, and something something something, then i said something else, and i remember waking up to him saying "because all of my great-grandpa's family died in the concentration camps"
WTF
fucking fail, courtney.
Monday, May 3, 2010
why?
"Jason,
I love you, you're amazing. You deserve nothing less than the best. Remember that, don't settle."
a note left on Jason's car by the person that does not approve of me dating him.
i want to cry at how unfair and malicious that is.
I love you, you're amazing. You deserve nothing less than the best. Remember that, don't settle."
a note left on Jason's car by the person that does not approve of me dating him.
i want to cry at how unfair and malicious that is.
just glad to help :)
so brad was freaking out freaking out.
big presentation due, and he was nowhere near done.
from the way he was sounding, and the fact that he kept asking whether or not i thought he should even go, it sounded like he was completely ready to give up.
i talked to him for a while, kinda leading on that he shouldn't give up, but not outright saying that. i also suggested he talk to the prof and see if he could maybe give it another day.
our convo from just now:
myseriechick (5:23:43 PM): so what did he say?
Difolo06 (5:23:58 PM): No additional time slots
Difolo06 (5:24:11 PM): but I Think im just gonna say fuck it and say everything that I have
Difolo06 (5:24:19 PM): thank you sooooooooooo much for your help!
myseriechick (5:24:22 PM): did you get more done?
myseriechick (5:24:29 PM): and i didn't really do anything :P
Difolo06 (5:27:12 PM): Yes im just gonna try to get 10 slides
Difolo06 (5:27:14 PM): at 7 atm
Difolo06 (5:27:33 PM): and you did, you encouraged me, I appreciate it
myseriechick (5:28:02 PM): :)
it's nice hearing that you're appreciated :)
big presentation due, and he was nowhere near done.
from the way he was sounding, and the fact that he kept asking whether or not i thought he should even go, it sounded like he was completely ready to give up.
i talked to him for a while, kinda leading on that he shouldn't give up, but not outright saying that. i also suggested he talk to the prof and see if he could maybe give it another day.
our convo from just now:
myseriechick (5:23:43 PM): so what did he say?
Difolo06 (5:23:58 PM): No additional time slots
Difolo06 (5:24:11 PM): but I Think im just gonna say fuck it and say everything that I have
Difolo06 (5:24:19 PM): thank you sooooooooooo much for your help!
myseriechick (5:24:22 PM): did you get more done?
myseriechick (5:24:29 PM): and i didn't really do anything :P
Difolo06 (5:27:12 PM): Yes im just gonna try to get 10 slides
Difolo06 (5:27:14 PM): at 7 atm
Difolo06 (5:27:33 PM): and you did, you encouraged me, I appreciate it
myseriechick (5:28:02 PM): :)
it's nice hearing that you're appreciated :)
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