unexpected

was not thinking that I would feel like this today
wasn't wanting to get out of bed today, but I did and was fine.
then I started feeling like I didn't want to face the world.
now I'm being torn apart on the inside.


I tried typing out how I feel, but I can't bring myself to say I hate you anymore. I am still affected every day by what you did, but now all I can think of is how everything must have seemed wrong and how much you must have hurt to do something as drastic as take your own life.

I want to tell someone how I am feeling, but am afraid no one would understand (I don't know what I would say anyways...)
I really need a hug right now.