friends kept me busy the last few weeks of school.
things were crazy, we partied way too hard, and i probably could have tried harder in my classes.
but god did i need the distraction.
not even sure what from specifically, but it just seemed like i was going to crack and break and never be the same again. so before i self destructed, my friends helped me let off a little steam and learn a few things about myself.
i know now i shouldn't have been heartbroken over any of it. none of it was really worth my time (at least thats what i have to tell myself).
a little part of me is still the really fragile damsel-type just looking for a man to hold her and make her feel safe and tell her everything will be okay. its a smaller part than it was, but it's still there. i'm not sure if it will ever completely disappear, or if i want it to even.
right now, i'm kind of down. the being at home and not being busy is leaving me plenty of time to get sad. (not that i need any help, i seem to be really good at that)
i don't know exactly what it is, but right now, i honestly want nothing more than attention. i want to feel special, like someone would rather be doing something with me or talking to me than anything else at that point in time. that would be nice.
its cold and its late, time to sleep. maybe. i think.
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