This must be it, welcome to the new year.

First blog of the new year, I guess.

"Sometimes, you have a bad day. Sometimes, you might be mad or sad and you can't put it into words. Sometimes, you look to the cold, dark sky, and as you wonder what the answers are, not sure if you even know any of the questions. But you can't stay there, you must never stay there. You must try to get out."

Was catching up, read this, and almost started crying.

I am mad and sad and can't put it into words. I wonder what the answers are, only to realize I don't know the questions.

I want to say that I'll be okay when I get back to Merced, back to a busy schedule and things to do and people to see. But I can't promise this to myself, because I lie to myself often enough as it is.

Mom is being bitchy, and no one knows why. She's being extremely snappy, short tempered, and is being far more than rude. I do want to go back to Merced, but I know I will miss my friends at home. I'm afraid that we're starting to grow apart, which only makes me sadder.

Just talked to my love, so glad to hear things are going well for her :) you deserve the best, babe. You've far more than earned some happiness.

My feet are cold.

Austin is coming to visit on the 18th. I don't have school the next day, either. lets see what goes on there.

I love you, Megan Wingo.

I hope I get to hang out with the friendlies tonight.

What I just told Megan, and makes the most sense to me right now:
I just want someone to like me and think i'm pretty and want to be cuddly and want to take care of me and all of that.

Seems like too much to ask for.

I hate how unorganized my thoughts are.