"You're weak and you're gullible, and I don't care
You're a walking disaster, and I don't care
You cry yourself to sleep, and I don't care
You're wasting our time, and I don't care"
Is it possible to feel this way about myself?
If not the words, the feeling behind the song seems about right.
Overall, I had a nice time last night. Movies and ridiculous conversation with friends into the wee small hours of the morning is always guaranteed to be a good time, even it if means I'm only getting three hours of sleep before a 14 hour day. Besides, Jason really liked the kandi I made him, even if I did kind of goof it up a little.
Not going to lie, watching Angela shamelessly flirt with Brad was kinda not so much fun. But when we got back to campus she was acting awkward, like she was afraid I was going to do or say something.
As I've told Lauren, he ISN'T off-limits. I have no claim over the man, and he can do whatever with whomever he wants to.
I really do like Jason. He's a sweetheart. But part of me is wondering if that's what I want right now :( To counter that, a really large part of me is afraid that if things don't work out between me and him, I'll lose a lot of the good friends I've made. I don't want that to happen :( I've finally found a space where I'm happy and I can be me, I don't want that taken away from me so quickly.
What have I gotten myself into?
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Don't worry too much about the future, babe. You'll be happier if you let the future go and focus on the present.
ReplyDeleteOh Courtney, I feel the same way sometimes. Luckily, unlike many of the guys out there, Jason is a very good guy, and if you are just as honest as you can be with him, I think he'll understand in the end. You have to do right by you. Angela is not wrong, but she is wrong for doing that so you are justified in feeling slightly uncomfortable. (PS I'll always be your fwiend :) ) Focus on having lots of good times! Like making candi for jason and even brad and all your friends AND YOURSELF!! that is good ^_^ lol
ReplyDeleteOn a more serious note, I know it's easier said than done, but don't be afraid, ok? Because sometimes fear can hold you back from experiencing really amazing things! You don't want that do you?? Just try to live with no regrets, and that's why I say, you gota do what's right by you girl. I know it's vague advice, but it's the truest advice I can give. It'll make you the happiest in the long term.
PS We are going to have so much fun at the ETF!!!!! ^_^ :* muah!
I support Tori's comment.
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