Happy Father's Day

I called my dad this morning.
We didn't talk for long, I think he could tell that I was still upset and was uncomfortable staying on the phone for any amount of time.
I also think that this really upset him. I could hear it in his voice as we were saying our goodbyes.

I'm sitting here at work and trying not to cry. I'm just so tired of having to deal with his shit. I'm tired of having to deal with the addict. I just want my daddy back.

After I got off the phone with him, I went back inside. Taj asked me if I got a hold of him, and if I was okay. I told him yes, then he hugged me and kissed me on the forehead. It was very sweet, and made me tear up a little (so I ran off and finished the muffins that were in the oven before he could notice.)

He went home after taking me to work. I'll see him Thursday or Friday, not sure exactly. But I'm hoping things continue on the way they are, I really like him. Last night was just so perfect it's ridiculous. We were lying in bed being silly and making dumb jokes, and couldn't stop kissing each other. Then we went out, got a little drunkie, came home and fell into bed together. I'm just sad that he couldn't stay longer. But I'll see him soon :)

I turn 21 tomorrow. Strangely, it still doesn't feel like my birthday. I'm not excited like I was when I was a kid, where birthdays were such a huge thing in my life. Growing a year older was one of the most fantastic things on the planet. I'm not excited for this one. I'm not giddy at the thought of being a little older. To be honest, I'm not even really excited about being old enough to drink (legally).

Will it feel like this from now on? Have all birthdays lost that magic? I really hope not.

Two nights in a row now I've gone out drinking. Tonight (if Tara Cassie Arron and I end up going out) will make three, and my birthday tomorrow will make four. Trivia Tuesday will make 5. That's the most going out I've done in years. Let's see if I make it out alive.

I want to do something this next weekend. No clue what, just that I don't want to stay home. And I don't think I want to spend it with a large group of people. I'd like to do something just me and Taj, at least for a little bit of the time he's in town. Tori Joe Steve and Josh are going to Santa Cruz on Saturday, that might be fun. I think Taj has to work that morning, which means when he goes home I can go with them to the beach. I'll talk to him and work it out.

I think that's about it.