I wish I could just know what was going through his head.
He told me to let him know whether or not he should come visit this weekend. I try to get a hold of him to tell him yes, I'd love to have him come stay (even if it couldn't be for very long) and for two and a half days have not heard from him.
I feel like just giving up.
On top of that, next Sunday is Father's day. I don't know how that's going to go.
Father's Day has always been a day of recognizing and appreciating for me. A day to flat out say I love you and everything you've done for me. I wouldn't be who or where I am without you.
I can't say all of those things.
Don't get me wrong, I love my dad to death, but I am just so tired of dealing with his shit that I can't help but get the feeling (and hate myself for it) that I may be better off without him in my life until he gets his shit together.
So this is it. I'm feeling like crap, don't want to do anything, can't make myself stick to either sewing or reading, no motivation to clean, want to sleep for ten years.
Damn it all. I'm taking a nap.
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